Dana White: Obnoxious Masshole or MMA Kingmaker?

My opinion oscillates on all sorts of subjects, big government versus state's rights, woman's suffrage, the DH rule in baseball, global warming, many things. Haha, nah, I don't, I'm actually quite opinionated but I couldn't think of another way to open this blog. (For the record, I believe in kings, I don't think any gender should vote, the DH rule is for fat fucks, and global warming is for fags.)

One thing I do flip-flop on is whether or not I like or fucking despise Dana White, on some days I think of him as an absolute boon for the sport of MMA, an edgy, xtreme! sort of dude who hates golf, other days he comes off as a total Masshole douchebag with no credibility. Compared to commissioners of other sports (who I suspect are part of sport-loving undead cabal) Dana is a breath of fresh air (as opposed to dusty coffin musk you get with the other guys), he's a brash, in-your-face, sort of dude who represents a controversial sport effectively and fights in the trenches for the UFC on all media fronts. If there is a panel debating the pros and cons of MMA, Dana White and Joe Rogan really are the perfect champions for the sport, they are always well-prepared and blow out the contrarians in an argument.

On the other hand you get videos like the above and you realize he is a charlatan too, a used car salesman, he's full of shit and a liar, ESPECIALLY about fighters not under Zuffa's thumb. Dana took a massive dump on Kimbo Slice for the better part of two years, he said he sucked as a fighter, that lightweight BJ Penn and featherweight Urijah Faber would be kick the shit out of him, and that having a freak fighter on the UFC roster would be an embarrassment, something that would tarnish the reputation of the sport. (All true, btw, lol) But, then the ratings come in for TUF 10 and Dana turns into a prostitute and gives Kimbo a UFC contract no matter what transpires on the show.

I can't hate any promoter that puts on circus act fights, freaks are huge short-term attractions and are even a tradition in Japanese MMA, where you have all manner of actors, comedians, atheletes, puroresu guys, pure boxers or judokas, producing decent, fights in the case of Hidehiko Yoshida or somber troll-hunts in the case of Gianto Silva and Hong Man Choi. I think PrideFC showed that you could successfully strike a mix of legitimate competition between ranked athletes and circus tent slobberknockers between freaks. What I do hate is the inconsistency with Dana, he dismisses freak fighters but uses TUF 10 to jerk off Kimbo, he goes gaga for Fedor, tries to sign him, when that goes awry he slams him, says he overrated, that a guy with 5 fights and dragon-AIDS would destroy him.

Inexplicably, I still like Dana White, he's the ultimate shock trooper for a sport with thousands of powerful detractors, he really has a clear vision and total faith in the product. People scoff at his claims that the UFC will be bigger than the NFL in 10 years but I think it's already there internationally. The NFL poured years and millions of dollars trying to cultivate a market for American football in Europe with no traction whatsoever, yet many European venues are clamoring for UFC events, every event held there is a sell-out, and there are already respectable MMA promotions established in the UK and Holland, and an already MMA-savvy market in the 2nd strongest economy in the world: Japan. Every culture on earth has some form of martial art or traditional system of hand-to-hand combat, fighting is universal. Max Kellerman has an excellent analogy as to why fighting is your favorite sport: if you come to an intersection and at each corner you have a sport being played; stickball, street hoops, pick-up football, and a fist fight, EVERYONE, by nature, is going to ignore the first three activities and crowd around the fist fight and watch.

So, I hate Dana for being inconsistent but then I myself am inconsistent about how I feel about the guy, who's gonna notice that? Nobody. There's a lot to dislike about Dana, things I haven't even mentioned like shitty fighter pay (a utility infielder like Alfredo Amezega gets paid more than huge draws like Chuck Liddell or Randy Couture do.) but you have to get past all that bluster and that Uncle Fester countenance and recognize how he has taken a sport on the verge of obliteration in the US, cleaned it up, repackaged it, and made it a viable enterprise with global reach.

WELL DONE, ME!